Tales of the Fourth Grade Nothing

I must admit that kids do say the darnest things. Like saying constipation instead of constitution. Or wondering what an alligator is in math when we are really learning about algorithms (and the smarty pants who comes up with it's like alligator only one that has a rythm when they move). My fourth graders might not be as amusing as those lil guys, but they are a wonder. Today was one of those days. I have a few boys who like to be goofy and do...well I guess it would be considered "boy things". (Keep in mind that my students have been my only experience to this point, we only have 3 1/2 months of practice with baby boys) They have also been testing the waters with my return. Ahh yes, Mrs. Fisher is tough on the reins. So, we have had the occasional outburst of burps, snorts and other various noises while I am teaching. The mom eyes narrow or I point, cards get turned, we move on. During my reading groups today I noticed that one of my proactive boys seemed to be at it again. It started with the snort. I looked up and shook my head. But he kept going. Than the very loud coughing started. My whole group turned to see what was going on. I asked him if he was not feeling well and if he really felt like he was going to throw up (because if you feel like this in my class, please RUN! to the nearest exit). Maybe he needs some water? No comment. His face turned bright red and mouth opened, but no sound came out. I began to panic, because even though he can be silly- he is not disrespectful nor would he normally carrying on like this. As I was fumbling to get out of the chair, around the table and across the room, he pokes a small white piece of something from his mouth (gum is my first thought). Getting a closer look as the color slowly returns back to a flesh, he pulls out a mini white mechanical pencil eraser. Yup, an eraser. He was choking on an eraser! OMG! The full reality of this hits me and the teacher in me left the buiding. Standing in her place was the stereotypical mother saying very loudly in a somewhat squeaky voice "What were you thinking chewing on an eraser! You could have (and were) choking! You scared the pooky out of me! Do not ever do that again! What were you thinking! DO NOT PUT things in your mouth! What were you thinking!" And he said calmly..." It tasted pretty good at the time". Jeeze!